Advice & Support from trusted WRC sources.

Dear WRC,

I am a mother of three who is trying to remain active, and be a good mom and wife, while working full-time… which means I am exhausted and over-stressed. How can I improve my mental well-being and improve my overall happiness?

— Cindy

Dear Cindy,

Spouses, bosses and children push boundaries in order to meet their own needs and wants.  Most women are natural nurturers, and as a result they often create unrealistic expectations for themselves and fail to define healthy boundaries.  They set aside their dreams and desires in a way that leaves them feeling unfulfilled.  Sound familiar?  

When we take time to examine our thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, perceptions and actions we can open ourselves up to learning skills that improve our interaction with others close to us as well as the world at large.  When we change outdated patterns, we can work toward creating a new foundation on which to manage life ~ regardless of the circumstances.  

Improving mental well-being and enhancing overall happiness really begins with determination and dedication to managing your time and bringing the people and activities that have personal meaning to you into your life on a regular basis, often through daily or weekly rituals.  Here is a suggestion:t take an hour of your time (after the kids are in bed) and outline an entire week from rising to bedtime in half hour increments. Fill in all of your daily obligations (work, family, etc.).  Next, consider what has meaning for you and schedule it on the weekly outline. It may be a half-hour before the kids rise to enjoy your coffee on the porch or read.  It may be a weekly yoga class or a monthly massage. It may be a date night with your husband or pizza and TV night with your family.  It may be all of those things.  Post your schedule for all to see and explain the importance of this change of pattern to your family ~ when mom is happy, everybody is happy!  Lastly, stay committed ~ even when you don’t feel like it.  

Remember, our entire life is based upon a series of choices.  Daily, we are faced with decisions that make our life better or more challenging.  Every day provides us with the opportunity to make better choices and lead happier, healthier lives. 

If you need a boost to define what has meaning for you, and how to bring more of it into your life, you might try attending a bi-weekly group meeting called,  “You are Worthy – Learning to Raise your own Bar” offered at the WRC Venice location.  This program is designed to help women gain insight into their own personality, how they handle conflict and become more aware of their own wants and needs.  As a result they also develop a framework of tools to aid them in setting boundaries, voicing their position and developing negotiation skills to assist them in achieving the goals they set for themselves. The ultimate goal of the program is to create life-altering and meaningful personal growth for those who want to improve their mental well-being and happiness.  

Change your patterns, change your life ~ You Are Worthy!  We look forward to seeing you at the next group meeting.  

– Chris & Denise

For more You Are Worthy resources, visit MyWRC.org/blog.  Special thanks to our program facilitators, Family-Civil Mediator/Arbitrator, Chris Florand, and Industrial/Organizational Psychologist, Denise Whalen.